a place for my writing desire..

once upon a day, someone PM me in Bigbang Indonesia Forum, asked me that she/he wanted to translate one of my drabble into vietnamese, she/he had to make an ID in BBIF just to contact me coz that's the only way.

that's why i write this post for you guys who probably want to contact me but dont know how.. you can just email me at eky.amelia@gmail.com or massage me via facebook..

smell ya later!
muah! Read more!

“You said you were in Japan that time” one simple remark from her almost ruined everything.

“Y yes.. I was.. wwhy?” he answered with falter. He glanced at her hoping that everything wont discovered or they’re done.

“Uh.. but this photo here tells me otherwise..” she pointed the screen in front of her while her eyes fixed on her boyfriends’

Jiyong peered on the screen, and his jaw dropped to the floor, there he saw his photo snogging at Sandara Park’s face in one of most private café in Seoul he though. He cursed out loud in his head, fucking netizen! They wont stop till someone dies, will they?

“i.. I can explain this, Bi..” he once again faltering, hoping his girlfriend would believe al the bluff he’d be throw like always, cheating was never an easy task after all.

“Oh! No need!” Shinbi smiled bright at him, she got up from the seat and turned to face him, “I believed you, you said you were in Japan, then you WERE in Japan..”

Jiyong didn’t know what to respond, his girlfriend didn’t investigate him like she always did every time she smelled something fishy about him and Sandara.

“ggeu..geure??” but he smiled, relieved.

“Yes! Of course..” she reassured him, as Jiyong pulled her into a hug. She pecked his cheek.

“But, Ji..” she pushed Jiyong who still had smile on his face.

“Hmmm?” he pecked her lips.

“I also believe that you choose Sandara onnie over me, so I think we just have to stop here..” Shinbi stated calmly, while Jiyong hoped his ears deceived him.

“Wh.. what’chu mean?” he asked nervously.

She grabbed her bag and headed straight to the door of their little house they lived for almost a year.

“I mean, we’re done, geut, over..” she smiled again, “I waited for almost 4 month now, but I think you didn’t have any intention to admit it.. so I think I’ll just tap it” she twisted the door’s knob.

“Oh, ya.. Kwon Jiyong, I known it since day one FYI.. and just don’t cry.. I let you slip this time coz it’s the last time.. bye my ex boyfriend!” and with that she closed the door, leaving Jiyong dumbfounded.

He just caught by his girlfriend, and she didn’t even shed a tear, she broke up with him instead, as easy as that. His knees buckled and his sorry ass bumped the sofa. It’s too late, regret do came late. And like she had stated earlier, he cried.

Vogue in his mind, her statement at the beginning of their relationship, I hate being lied, so Oppa, be honest! How hard it is, how painful it is, I’ll endure it as long as you honestly tell me. And I’ll gladly tap it, but once I caught you lying to me, every thing will just over.

And every thing has just over. He wanted to bring his scrawny legs to run after her, but his body wont let him to, he just felt numb, he know Shinbi too well, over means over, there’s no way back, not even as a friend.

A ringtone of his phone woke him up from his regretful daydreaming; he read the name of the caller.

“Sandara Park”

Fucking cheating!! He cursed out loud while pushing the end button.

Standing straight he ran to the door, open it and running frantically to the neighborhood, hoping that he could catch her and beg for forgiveness.. even though he knew it just a slim probability, it worth a try.

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“Hi, Ri..” Shinbi menyapa sambil duduk disebelah Seungri yang sibuk memainkan pensilnya diatas kertas balok nada didepannya.

“Oh, nuna..” jawabnya singkat lalu fokus lagi pada pekerjaannya, Shinbi cemberut, Seungri memang begitu jika sudah berurusan dengan music, mungkin ada kebakaran saja dia tak akan sadar. Merasa bosan Shinbi kemudian beranjak menuju grand piano berwarna putih diseberang ruang, sejenak ia merasa familiar dengan piano didepannya, teringat dengan Ppittam, piano miliknya di Korea, yang sudah ia tinggal selama 3 bulan ini. Shinbi memangdang tuts hitam putih didepannya lalu memencet satu nada.

“ting..” tak ada reaksi dari Seungri, Shinbi makin cemberut, ia lalu membetulkan posisi duduknya agar lebih nyaman lalu menaruh kesepuluh jarinya diatas tuts-tuts itu, menarik nafas panjang sambil memejamkan matanya lalu mulai memainkan nada-nada manis yang sudah ia ingat diluar kepalanya. Nada itu mengalun dengan sangat indah, hingga Seungri tak kuasa memperhatikan Shinbi dari mejanya. Ekspresi Shinbi kalem, namun menyimpan begitu macam perasaan yang tak bisa Seungri jelaskan.

Shinbi makin terlarut pada permainan pianonya, tempo musiknya ia mainkan lambat menenangkan, tanpa sadar Shinbi membuka mulutnya, ikut berdendang dengan permainan pianonya.

You would argue with her
Then you would burst in tears.
Sometimes you would struggle,
Then I pray that you would leave her side
My heart ache silently
But your smile brightens my day.
I conceal and hide my feelings
Cuz I'm scared that it might affect the way you see me

Alunan suaranya yang begitu menenangkan membuat Seungri terpesona, tak lepas matanya dari ekspresi wajah Shinbi yang makin lama bisa Seungri mengerti, namun makin tak bisa ia jelaskan.

So I hold my breath
Then I bite my lips
And pray that you would leave her side.

Shinbi menghentikan permainannya ditengah jalan, tanpa menyadari bahwa dari tadi ada pendengar yang sedang mengamatinya, ia memejamkan matanya lalu mendongak keatas dan menarik nafas panjang, metode yang amat jitu untuk menahan air mata.

“Kenapa berhenti??” kaget, Shinbi buru-buru menoleh kearah suara, dan mendapati Seungri berdiri disampingnya, Shinbi tersenyum kepadanya.

“Karena aku sudah mendapat perhatianmu, aku paling benci kalau kau hiraukan seperti tadi!” Alis Seungri bertaut, gadis didepannya ini mungkin adalah gadis terkuat, dan memiliki karisma, namun entah kenapa Seungri selalu menemukan jiwa kekanakan dibalik itu semua.

“Oh, ya?” Seungri lalu mendekat, dan Shinbi bergeser untuk memberi Seungri tempat untuk duduk.

“Iya donk, kau kan lelaki paling tampan disini!” ujar Shinbi ceria sambil mencubit pipi Seungri, lalu menaruh kepalanya yang terasa sedikit pusing dan ringan dipundak Seungri, lalu segera menutup matanya, sementara Seungri tak bisa berhenti tersenyum.

“Apa judul lagu barusan, Nuna?” Tanya Seungri, namun tak ada jawaban dari Shinbi. Seungri kembali tersenyum, ia lalu pelan-pelan memutar tubuhnya sedemikian rupa lalu pelan-pelan mengangkat tubuh Shinbi, lalu menuju kamar mereka dan meletakkan Shinbi yang tertidur pulas di ranjang dan menyelimutinya. She’s such a deep sleeper, and the quickest too, pikir Seungri sambil geleng-geleng kepala.

===

“Hi, Yoon!” Yoona mendongak ketika samar-samar ia mendengar namanya dipanggil, saat ia melihat Youngbae tersenyum kearahnya, buru-buru ia lepas earpiece dari kedua telinganya, samar “Chocolate Love” dari SNSD terdengar.

“Hi, Tae!” sapanya ceria lalu meletakkan bolpen yang dari tadi ia mainkan, “tak makan siang?” tanyanya basa-basi.

“Kau sendiri??” tanya Youngbae kembali sambil duduk didepan Yoona, Yoona lalu merengut dan membuat ekspresi sebal.

“Aku paling tak suka kalau pertanyaanku dijawab dengan pertanyaan juga!” lalu ia menggelembungkan pipinya, Youngbae hanya tertawa kecil dan mencubit gemas pipi Yoona, mereka berdua tertawa.

“Aku tak sabar untuk liburan..” kata Yoona tiba-tiba sambil menguap dan merentangkan kedua tangannya. Sekali lagi Youngbae tersenyum.

“Kenapa? Bosan dengan kehidupan??” tanyanya peduli, Yoona lalu memandangnya.

“Nope! Tapi paling tidak aku ingin jalan-jalan tanpa memikirkan perusahaan.. pasti rasanya akan sangat fresh!” jawabnya masih dengan nada ceria.

“Hi, ku beri tahu satu rahasia kecil..” Youngbae mendekan pada Yoona seakan informasi yang akn ia sampaikan itu sangat berharga, “Taman ini..” mulainya sambil menyapukan pandangan keseluruh taman, “merupakan tempat pelarianku.. ”

“Oh ya? Maksudmu??” tanya Yoona cepat.

“Lihatlah sekitar.. bunga berhamparan, anak kecil berlarian, kupu-kupu beterbangan..” Jelas Youngbae satu persatu, “Kadang hal-hal kecil seperti itulah yang menenangkan, membuat kita lupa akan masalah yang sedang ia hadapi..” Youngbae tersenyum, lalu memandang tepat kearah mata Yoona, menunggu persetujuan, Yoona hanya tersenyum, taman yang terletak diseberang kantor mereka memang menenangkan, seperti dunia yang sama sekali berbeda dengan lingkungan sekitarnya yang serba hectic dan sibuk, menuntut manusia untuk bergerak dua tiga kali lebih cepat dari manusia lain.

“Indeed it is..” jawab Yoona tersenyum tulus. “Ya kan?? Seperti anak-anak yang berlarian disana, kadang melihat pemandangan itu membuatku ingin jadi anak-anak lagi, carefree and honest, aren’t they?” sambung Youngbae.

“Iya, sama seperti penjual ttokpoki di ujung jalan itu..” tunjuk Yoona dan langsung disambut tautan alis Youngbae.

“Membuatku lapar setengah mati..” lanjutnya nyengir kuda, gelak tawa mereka berduapun kembali pecah. “Belikan untukku yah.. pleaseee…” mohon Yoona sambil menarik-narik lengan kemeja Youngbae, namun Youngbae tak bergeming.

“Aku mohhooonn.. aku belum makan sejak pagi, lapaarr..” mohonnya lagi, kali ini Youngbae menyerah.

“Belum makan sejak pagi?? Itukan tidak baik untuk..”

“iya-iya aku tau!” potong Yoona cepat, “Aish, kau sama saja seperti Jiyong, mengomeliku hanya karena makanan, kalau tiap pagi aku tak mual, sudah kuhabiskan jatah makanku untuk satu hari sekaligus..”lanjut Yoona cepat. Youngbae yang merasa bersalah buru-buru lari dan membelikan Yoona satu bungkus ttokpoki.

“Kau masih mual-mual saja?” tanya Youngbae setelah memberi ttokpoki pada Yonna dan kembali duduk, kali ini duduk disampingnya.

“Hmmm..” jawab Yoona singkat sambil sibuk mengunyah.

“Masa masih mual juga? Kau sudah control??” tanya Youngbae lagi sambil memperhatikan Yoona yang begitu lahap memakan ttokpokinya.

“Belum, rencananya lusa baru ke rumah sakit lagi, Jiyong sedang sibuk akhir-akhir ini..”

“Kau bisa minta tolong aku kan??” tawar Youngbae.

“uh, terimakasih tawarannya, tapi aku sudah membuat janji pada Jiyong, besok Jumat dia akan menemaniku..” ujarnya disela-sela kunyahan.

“Ah.. itu dia!” youngbae menunjuk kearah belakang Yoona, Yonna menoleh dan mendapati Jiyong sedang berjalan kearah mereka, setelah sampai dikusi taman tempat mereka duduk, Jiyong segera menghempaskan pantatnya disamping Youngbae.

Wajah Jiyong terlihat begitu lelah, entah karena pekerjaan atau hal lain yang mengganggu pikirannya, “Kau tak apa, Ji??” tanya Yoona peduli setelah beberapa saat Jiyong tak melakukan apa-apa setelah duduk melainkan hanya diam dan terlarut dalam pikirannya sendiri.

Mendengar pertanyaan Yoona, Jiyog hanya tersenyum, “Ah.. tak apa, hanya sedikit capek..” jawabnya singkat. Youngbae yang meilhat hal itu sebnarnya paham akan apa yang dialamai Jiyong, namun Youngbae tak mau ikut campur.

“Oh.. eng, kalau begitu aku balik ke kantor dulu ya.. ” pamit Youngbae singkat, namun buru-buru Jiyong tahan.

“Bae, bisakah kau mengantar Yoona pulang nanti sore?” tanya Jiyong masih dengan wajahnya yang datar. Youngbae otomatis menoleh ke arah Yoona, Yoona hanya memberi tanda ‘iya’ dengan anggukan kecil.

“Oh, oke.. tapi kau memangnya mau kemana?” tanya Youngbae hati-hati.

“Ah.. emm.. aku ada urusan, aku pulang ya..” pamit Jiyong buru-buru, sementara Yoona dan Youngbae hanya bengong.

“Dia kenapa sih?” tanya Yoona heran, Youngbae hanya mengendikkan bahunya lalu menawarkan tangannya untuk membantu Yoona berdiri.

“Ayo kembali ke kantor, kau anak boss, bukan berarti bisa terlambat..” canda Youngbae, Yoona lalu cemberut dan memukul lengan atas Youngbae pelan.

===

Jiyong menegak habis kaleng bir kesekiannya, hari masih sore, ia tak mau mabuk, namun iapun tak mau sadar, bir kali ini menjadi temannya, berharap bir-bir itu bisa membuatnya sedikit mabuk, namun sepertinya ia salah.

“Ji..” panggil Youngbae sambil duduk di sofa apartment mereka, Youngbae tau Jiyong pasti memikirkan Shinbi.

“Kau sudah dapat kabar darinya??” tanyanya dan langsung tertunduk kecewa ketika melihat Youngbae hanya mengangguk pelan. “Apa dia benar-benar ingin memutuskan hubungan dengan kita??” tanya Jiyong sedih, Youngbae hanya terdiam tak bisa menjawab pertanyaan Jiyong yang terdengar amat merana.

“Ini semua gara-gara aku, Bae.. Jika saja aku lebih tegas, jika aku lebih berani, semua ta akan jadi seperti ini.. aku teman yang jahat.” Youngbae hanya menepuk bahunya tanda simpati, “Bae.. I loved her even before she realize that she loved me..” akunya pelan, sebulir air mata lepas dan meluncur di pipinya.

Youngbae tak kaget, he always loved Shinbi, tapi sepertinya kedua sahabatnya itu sama-sama takut akan dua hal, cinta mereka tak terbalas, dan malah membuat hubungan mereka menjadi aneh, dan lihatlah sekarang, nothing right between them, mereka sama-sama merana, hanya karena mereka tak saling mengungkapkan perasaan mereka. Andai Shinbi bisa menyadari betapa protektifnya Jiyong padanya, jika Jiyong menyadari bahwa perasaannya pada Shinbi melebihi rasa sayang pada seorang adik, dan Yoona hanya pelariannya saja lebih awal, mungkin semua tak akan jadi seperti ini.

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oneshot terpanjang yang sayah tulisss...

=*=*=*=*

I never thought that actually I’ll be in this kind of shit. After the press con, I though life could be easier for both of us, for my college life and Daesung’s celebs life along side with Bigbang, but I guess I was totally wrong.

It might be the number two of why is dating a superstar was never an easy task. Even with the press con, you just can’t deceive VIPs. They still hunt you for the reason that you find ridiculous. Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I think giving someone a glare for being connected with YGFamily was incredibly ridiculous, and not to forget to mention a whispering sounds like, “ungrateful”, “bitch”, “jjajeungna *annoying*” or all the three put together that heard almost everyday.

Sigh.

Atleast they didn’t touch me, or worst hurt me. Hhh.. I wonder what will Daesung do when his fans hurt his overly sweet girlfriend. The image of Daesung standing before me snapping at every girls who hurt me with “you all stay away from my girl, you lil bitc*” oh… heaven!

I didn’t know that I was giggling like mad until someone nudges me hard on my ribs.

“Awww!! What was that for???” I was practically yelling to that someone who just grinned like a hyena.

“Hai, partner!” he beamed, at this point I almost mistaken him as Dongwook oppa.

“Quiet Ajoo!” I hissed, his smile dropped and I felt like I just committed a sin.

“Uh.. we’re partner though..”

“What partner??” okay forgive me for daydreaming on the class, but I just couldn’t help it.

“That’s why I nudged you before, the teacher has paired me with you, Bi.. for our first project which has 50% points.”

“Huh? What?? Hei, I still am a nuna for you! Call me nuna!”

“You’re a same grader, I don’t call a same grader nuna.. but anyway, it’s pleased to be your partner, see you!” and then he took off.. and my slow brain refuse to think about the project because my overly hot boyfriend had just call me.

Soon I was standing in front of the back door of YG Apartment where Daesung and the rest of Bigbang shared their life, uh.. That came out weird. If you wondering why am I choose the back door instead of the main entrance, I’ll just pretending that you’re a die hard VIP so you’ll understand, speaking about that, I saw a bunch of them screaming their heads off while Jiyong oppa disappeared with the lift.

It’s hard to be an idol, isn’t it?

I prefer the stairs than the lift, coz the lift was visible enough from the clear main door, but I think I was too out of shape to continue, so I took the lift from the 3^rd floor and proceed to 15^th where the love of my life stays.

A loud ‘ding’ interrupts my day dreaming about how will be our first-meeting-after-the-press-con-which-was-held-like-2-weeks-ago-or-so, I glance on the glowing number above the lift doors, it isn’t 15^th, but 10, and I can actually feel my stomach twitch as I saw him standing still in front of the door, contemplating whether he’ll join the lift or not, he glanced at his wrist where he put his golden watch and decided to take the lift ride.

We kept silent as if we didn’t acknowledge each others’ existence “What are you doing here?” finally he broke the silence.

“None of your business..” I’m sorry for being like this, but if you standing on my shoes, I’m sure enough you’ll do the same.

“What are you doing here, when I already warn you!” he snapped, I swallowed my saliva hard.

“I said, none of your business..” I gritted my teeth, “it’s not like I’m here for you.. ”

“tch..” he scoffed, that sent me some pain on my heart, I kept my head low, but suddenly he grabbed my wrist hard, so hard that my hand started to turn to white, he drew his head closer till I can smell his breath with a hint of alcohol.

“I’ve warned you before, haven’t I? what are you doing here!” he said with a low, deep, and angry voice, he’s eyes darted to my trembling lip, tears started welling up in my eyes.

“I said it’s none of your business..oppa” tears officially rolled on my cheeks.

“DON’T CALL ME OPPA!! COZ I’MNOT!!!!!” he roared, that pain excruciating, the wound that hasn’t healed yet, deepen.

“Leave Korea!” he shout again, he still avoided the eye contact. “As soon as possible.”

“No!” I didn’t know from where this courage comes, but one thing that I knew, I won’t leave Korea, I might be corny, but Daesung is the only reason why I kept clinging on Korea, beside my art academic.

“You liltle!!” I saw him raised his hand, trying to hit me, I dodged all I might, but the pain didn’t come, I peek through my clenched eyes, he lowered his hand.

“I have told you about the situation, haven’t i?” clearly distinct in his voice, a deep hatred for me.

“You have, oppa..” I noticed he flinched when I call him oppa, but he stood still, “but I wouldn’t care.. we went through the worst.. and we still together.. ”

He didn’t respond, the lift opened once again, now it’s my turn to leave the lift, I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, and headed out, but his strong grip enjoined me to, he pulled me back and press the close button, he tossed me to the corner and trapped me with his hands. The lift started to heading down, but he pressed the bell button and said to the operator to freeze the lift, the lift stopped abruptly between 14^th and 13^th.

“Don’t make me to do some thing you will regret..” once, I was afraid he will rape me, but than he snapped his head so his eyes finally met mine, I didn’t saw a single trace of lust, all I saw was a deep wound, he’s hurt.. that’s what I conclude.

“Why, oppa??” I asked, and his right hand slammed the metal wall behind me with a strong punch, i’m sure enough he hurt his self, but I couldn’t help to flinch.

“DON’T FUC*IN CALL ME OPPA!!!!!!” I hung my head low, hiding the tears, I didn’t want to show him my weak state.

“Leave Korea!!” he pounded the metal wall once again, and my head snapped, showing him a good view of my drenched cheeks and trembling lips, his eyes grazed my lips and than my eyes.

“it’s not about Daesung, isn’t it? It’s not about your career either.. it all about your self.. isn’t it, op.. Teddy ssi?” my voice cracking, but I really need to continue, “Do you hate me that much?”

“Yes!!” he answered quickly, my knees buckling, and I just want to cry my heart out rite there and then.

“Why??” now I didn’t hide my tears anymore, the pain was killing.

“Coz I simply hate you, LEAVE!” he freed me and push the button again so the lift worked, and he jumped out once the lift opened on the 12^th floor. But before the door closed again, I call him miserably.

“Oppa.. do you really hate me that much? You don’t love me? Not even a little??” I pleaded him, but his cold shoulder give me the answer, he turned and facing me.

“not even a little..” and the door closed, my knees given up, I slide against the metal wall till my ass touched the floor. The tears poured up like someone had stabbed my eyes and poured the tears away, he’s the reason why I came to Korea 4 years ago, he’s the reason why 8 month after my arrival I went back to Seattle, he’s my only brother that I want to hug and share my problem with, he’s the brother that hates me. I brought my knees closer and hug them, his voice echoing in my head as the tears keep pouring.

A sound of ding once again interrupt me, but I didn’t bother to lift my head, “Shinbi yah…” someone called me, but I still hugged my knees, I cried so much that I didn’t realize that it was getting harder to breath.

I felt a strong arms hugged me, and I know from the cologne that it was Daesung who hugged me, let go my knees and hug him back, pouring all the sadness in his board chest while al he could do was lifting me out off the lift and went to Bigbang’s apartment.

I still hugged him as if I would loss him if I loosened the grip, he kissed my head and let me hugged him, “there there..” he patted my back with a soothing movement, and just held me close, this is what I like about him, he wont budge you with questions about what had just happened, he’ll calm you down and just listen when you ready to tell him everything.

He kissed my head again, and somehow, for a strange reason, my shaking body just calmed down, just like that, with a single kiss in my head “everything is okay now, husshh..”

I still breathing hard from the cry but I managed to speak, I want to share everything with him, “He hates… me Dae.. my only brother…. hates me..”

“Ssshh.. he didn’t know what he say.. everything will be okay..” he once again kissed my head.

“I.. I.. never felt.. this un-loved.. Dae.. he’s my.. only.. brother… he even hates it.. when.. when I call him… oppa..”

“that’s not true.. you’re easy to love, Seungri loves you, Youngbae hyung and Jiyong hyung love you, Seunghyun hyung loves you too..” he lift my chin, “and the top of that, I love you, Park Shinbi.. I do..” he smiled genuinely, even thought it gave me strength, but I still cried harder and buried my face deeper to his chest.

I wouldn’t care if he told me that he didn’t love me, that wasn’t matter anymore, I came back here for Daesung anyway. The love from Daesung, that what’s matter. The love that kept me surviving the 8 months of searching my brother’s acknowledgement, and 3 years of hell in Seattle.

He is what matter is now.

Park Shinbi, signing off.

=*=*=*=*=*

gw ga tau yah buat yang baca, tapi gw nangis beneran waktu nulis ini.. mungkin dengan kemampuan nulis gw yang masih abal-abal, gw belom mampu mengantarkan emosi segitu detilnya. Anyway, kasih tau yah whether you cry or not.. penting buat peningkatan menulis tuhh... kkkk

your curly writer,

Amel

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