a place for my writing desire..

oneshot terpanjang yang sayah tulisss...

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I never thought that actually I’ll be in this kind of shit. After the press con, I though life could be easier for both of us, for my college life and Daesung’s celebs life along side with Bigbang, but I guess I was totally wrong.

It might be the number two of why is dating a superstar was never an easy task. Even with the press con, you just can’t deceive VIPs. They still hunt you for the reason that you find ridiculous. Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I think giving someone a glare for being connected with YGFamily was incredibly ridiculous, and not to forget to mention a whispering sounds like, “ungrateful”, “bitch”, “jjajeungna *annoying*” or all the three put together that heard almost everyday.

Sigh.

Atleast they didn’t touch me, or worst hurt me. Hhh.. I wonder what will Daesung do when his fans hurt his overly sweet girlfriend. The image of Daesung standing before me snapping at every girls who hurt me with “you all stay away from my girl, you lil bitc*” oh… heaven!

I didn’t know that I was giggling like mad until someone nudges me hard on my ribs.

“Awww!! What was that for???” I was practically yelling to that someone who just grinned like a hyena.

“Hai, partner!” he beamed, at this point I almost mistaken him as Dongwook oppa.

“Quiet Ajoo!” I hissed, his smile dropped and I felt like I just committed a sin.

“Uh.. we’re partner though..”

“What partner??” okay forgive me for daydreaming on the class, but I just couldn’t help it.

“That’s why I nudged you before, the teacher has paired me with you, Bi.. for our first project which has 50% points.”

“Huh? What?? Hei, I still am a nuna for you! Call me nuna!”

“You’re a same grader, I don’t call a same grader nuna.. but anyway, it’s pleased to be your partner, see you!” and then he took off.. and my slow brain refuse to think about the project because my overly hot boyfriend had just call me.

Soon I was standing in front of the back door of YG Apartment where Daesung and the rest of Bigbang shared their life, uh.. That came out weird. If you wondering why am I choose the back door instead of the main entrance, I’ll just pretending that you’re a die hard VIP so you’ll understand, speaking about that, I saw a bunch of them screaming their heads off while Jiyong oppa disappeared with the lift.

It’s hard to be an idol, isn’t it?

I prefer the stairs than the lift, coz the lift was visible enough from the clear main door, but I think I was too out of shape to continue, so I took the lift from the 3^rd floor and proceed to 15^th where the love of my life stays.

A loud ‘ding’ interrupts my day dreaming about how will be our first-meeting-after-the-press-con-which-was-held-like-2-weeks-ago-or-so, I glance on the glowing number above the lift doors, it isn’t 15^th, but 10, and I can actually feel my stomach twitch as I saw him standing still in front of the door, contemplating whether he’ll join the lift or not, he glanced at his wrist where he put his golden watch and decided to take the lift ride.

We kept silent as if we didn’t acknowledge each others’ existence “What are you doing here?” finally he broke the silence.

“None of your business..” I’m sorry for being like this, but if you standing on my shoes, I’m sure enough you’ll do the same.

“What are you doing here, when I already warn you!” he snapped, I swallowed my saliva hard.

“I said, none of your business..” I gritted my teeth, “it’s not like I’m here for you.. ”

“tch..” he scoffed, that sent me some pain on my heart, I kept my head low, but suddenly he grabbed my wrist hard, so hard that my hand started to turn to white, he drew his head closer till I can smell his breath with a hint of alcohol.

“I’ve warned you before, haven’t I? what are you doing here!” he said with a low, deep, and angry voice, he’s eyes darted to my trembling lip, tears started welling up in my eyes.

“I said it’s none of your business..oppa” tears officially rolled on my cheeks.

“DON’T CALL ME OPPA!! COZ I’MNOT!!!!!” he roared, that pain excruciating, the wound that hasn’t healed yet, deepen.

“Leave Korea!” he shout again, he still avoided the eye contact. “As soon as possible.”

“No!” I didn’t know from where this courage comes, but one thing that I knew, I won’t leave Korea, I might be corny, but Daesung is the only reason why I kept clinging on Korea, beside my art academic.

“You liltle!!” I saw him raised his hand, trying to hit me, I dodged all I might, but the pain didn’t come, I peek through my clenched eyes, he lowered his hand.

“I have told you about the situation, haven’t i?” clearly distinct in his voice, a deep hatred for me.

“You have, oppa..” I noticed he flinched when I call him oppa, but he stood still, “but I wouldn’t care.. we went through the worst.. and we still together.. ”

He didn’t respond, the lift opened once again, now it’s my turn to leave the lift, I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, and headed out, but his strong grip enjoined me to, he pulled me back and press the close button, he tossed me to the corner and trapped me with his hands. The lift started to heading down, but he pressed the bell button and said to the operator to freeze the lift, the lift stopped abruptly between 14^th and 13^th.

“Don’t make me to do some thing you will regret..” once, I was afraid he will rape me, but than he snapped his head so his eyes finally met mine, I didn’t saw a single trace of lust, all I saw was a deep wound, he’s hurt.. that’s what I conclude.

“Why, oppa??” I asked, and his right hand slammed the metal wall behind me with a strong punch, i’m sure enough he hurt his self, but I couldn’t help to flinch.

“DON’T FUC*IN CALL ME OPPA!!!!!!” I hung my head low, hiding the tears, I didn’t want to show him my weak state.

“Leave Korea!!” he pounded the metal wall once again, and my head snapped, showing him a good view of my drenched cheeks and trembling lips, his eyes grazed my lips and than my eyes.

“it’s not about Daesung, isn’t it? It’s not about your career either.. it all about your self.. isn’t it, op.. Teddy ssi?” my voice cracking, but I really need to continue, “Do you hate me that much?”

“Yes!!” he answered quickly, my knees buckling, and I just want to cry my heart out rite there and then.

“Why??” now I didn’t hide my tears anymore, the pain was killing.

“Coz I simply hate you, LEAVE!” he freed me and push the button again so the lift worked, and he jumped out once the lift opened on the 12^th floor. But before the door closed again, I call him miserably.

“Oppa.. do you really hate me that much? You don’t love me? Not even a little??” I pleaded him, but his cold shoulder give me the answer, he turned and facing me.

“not even a little..” and the door closed, my knees given up, I slide against the metal wall till my ass touched the floor. The tears poured up like someone had stabbed my eyes and poured the tears away, he’s the reason why I came to Korea 4 years ago, he’s the reason why 8 month after my arrival I went back to Seattle, he’s my only brother that I want to hug and share my problem with, he’s the brother that hates me. I brought my knees closer and hug them, his voice echoing in my head as the tears keep pouring.

A sound of ding once again interrupt me, but I didn’t bother to lift my head, “Shinbi yah…” someone called me, but I still hugged my knees, I cried so much that I didn’t realize that it was getting harder to breath.

I felt a strong arms hugged me, and I know from the cologne that it was Daesung who hugged me, let go my knees and hug him back, pouring all the sadness in his board chest while al he could do was lifting me out off the lift and went to Bigbang’s apartment.

I still hugged him as if I would loss him if I loosened the grip, he kissed my head and let me hugged him, “there there..” he patted my back with a soothing movement, and just held me close, this is what I like about him, he wont budge you with questions about what had just happened, he’ll calm you down and just listen when you ready to tell him everything.

He kissed my head again, and somehow, for a strange reason, my shaking body just calmed down, just like that, with a single kiss in my head “everything is okay now, husshh..”

I still breathing hard from the cry but I managed to speak, I want to share everything with him, “He hates… me Dae.. my only brother…. hates me..”

“Ssshh.. he didn’t know what he say.. everything will be okay..” he once again kissed my head.

“I.. I.. never felt.. this un-loved.. Dae.. he’s my.. only.. brother… he even hates it.. when.. when I call him… oppa..”

“that’s not true.. you’re easy to love, Seungri loves you, Youngbae hyung and Jiyong hyung love you, Seunghyun hyung loves you too..” he lift my chin, “and the top of that, I love you, Park Shinbi.. I do..” he smiled genuinely, even thought it gave me strength, but I still cried harder and buried my face deeper to his chest.

I wouldn’t care if he told me that he didn’t love me, that wasn’t matter anymore, I came back here for Daesung anyway. The love from Daesung, that what’s matter. The love that kept me surviving the 8 months of searching my brother’s acknowledgement, and 3 years of hell in Seattle.

He is what matter is now.

Park Shinbi, signing off.

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gw ga tau yah buat yang baca, tapi gw nangis beneran waktu nulis ini.. mungkin dengan kemampuan nulis gw yang masih abal-abal, gw belom mampu mengantarkan emosi segitu detilnya. Anyway, kasih tau yah whether you cry or not.. penting buat peningkatan menulis tuhh... kkkk

your curly writer,

Amel